OUT OF PLACE, BURIED NOT FAR UNDERNEATH

Good Sleep. The people that love me. Scars. The end of the term. The library. My bed. Sizzle our. Wilco. Sisters. Grace.

There is no time limit on grief. No is no real closure and sometimes wounds open and close. I guess life is suffering and a gift and acceptance is the tool. I don’t want to is my response at the moment, even though I am sure its better then nursing the hurt.

I love her and I helped her get born

I love this baby. I got to help him get born

fuckyeahhistorycrushes:

Tisquantum (1580s-1622), Patuxet Native American.  As a young man Tisquantum, more often known as Squanto, was captured and brought to Spain to be sold into slavery by one of John Smith(of Pocahontas fame)’s lieutenants.  He was freed by several friars and eventually made his way back to New England, learning English and establishing a bromance with shipbuilder John Slaney along the way.  Unfortunately, Squanto found that his tribe had been decimated by a plague brought over by the plaguey Europeans, so he chilled with the Pilgrims and helped them suck less at living.  Since they managed not to starve, the Pilgrims held a harvest feast that is commonly regarded as a precursor the holiday that celebrates gluttony and puts us into annual tryptophan-induced comas. 

Happy Thanksgiving history crushers!

As it turns out getting rid of the anger makes room for all kinds of other feelings that are difficult to feel.  I spent a lot of time holding on to that anger, I felt like I was justified and owed at least the pleasure of hating him. I forgot that anger is better left to people that aren’t me. So I am not angry.  I am forgiving and not so resentful.  What I wasn’t prepared for was and is what follows anger… every other feeling.  My therapist says that “Anger is a secondary emotion” I believe that to be true. I was angry but I was mostly hurt, disappointed, heartbroken, etc. 

Sometimes I don’t know the difference between instinct and fear.

We were a bat family for Halloween.

New baby