OUT OF PLACE, BURIED NOT FAR UNDERNEATH

After the anger comes the forgiveness 

It comes in stops and starts.

After the anger comes the loss.

The anger works as a shield from all other feelings.

But its not over after the anger.

Sometimes I wonder if its ever over.  

After the anger you aren’t torn to bits,

But you feel feelings you aren’t prepared for

You sometimes wonder if the anger was easier…

It wasn’t, remember it wasn’t because it had you all locked up.  

What comes after the anger is closer to freedom.

It gets you all exposed. 

All your insides are on the outside.

Saying goodbye to all the things it’s too late to say goodbye to.

Remembering things you worked so hard to forget.

It hurts.

The kind of hurt the makes you think it will never stop hurting.

And part of you wants to go back to the anger but the strong part of you, the part that couldn’t feel weaker says to stay and keep feeling.  

This is how you get to freedom and that’s what keeps me here.